You can Talk, You can Talk, You can Talk, Talk Talk Talk

Remember that old Music Man opening number. The original rap song, right? I just got this email from the Democratic Party. I was part of a John Kerry Fundraiser back in 2004 and have been getting these ever since. Always a good source of comedy....

STATE OF THE UNION UNDRESSED

FROM "President Barack Obama" democraticparty@democrats.org

*********************************************************
Walt --

I just finished delivering my first State of the Union address.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1PWQtCDaYY)

I set out an urgent plan for restoring economic security for struggling middle class families. This is my top priority, but I cannot do it alone -- and that's why I'm writing to you now.

Tonight, I called on Congress to enact reforms and new initiatives to defend the middle class -- to create millions of new jobs, support small businesses, and drive up wages; to invest in the education of our children and the clean energy technology that must power our future; and to protect the economy from reckless Wall Street abuses.

And I made my position on health reform clear: We must not walk away. We are too close, and the stakes are too high for too many. I called on legislators of both parties to find a way to come together and finish the job for the American people.

I have no illusions -- there have been setbacks, and there will be more to come. The special interests who have shaped the status quo will keep fighting tooth and nail to preserve it.

So tonight, I'm asking you to join me in the work ahead. I need your voice. I need your passion. And I need your support.

Can you help fuel our fight for the middle class with a monthly donation of $15 or more?

We have just finished a difficult year. We have come through a difficult decade. But a new year has come. A new decade stretches before us. We don't quit. I don't quit. Let's seize this moment -- to start anew, to carry the dream forward, and to strengthen our union once more.

Thank you for making it possible,

President Barack Obama
*********************************************************

Mr. President, you're right! You can't do it alone. But obviously you can't do it with 60 senators and a house majority either. You have not been alone. You have just been too busy talking. Everyday we see you somewhere else in the country talking. You seem more like an author on a book tour or the Jonas Brothers than a President. I have to say I was swept up by the fervor of 2008. Swept up by intelligent speeches. But how easy is it to say...
Let's fix Health Care.
Let's fix Education.
Let's bring our energy into the 21st Century!
The Democratic Party cried for reform and change - the American people listened. We were all on board. But in the year since, poor leadership at the Senate, House and White House has the American People crying...
WHERE's THE BEEF
I can tell you just by the crowds in Times Square that Americans are not traveling. I can tell you by the crowds at the mall that Americans are not spending. And I can tell by watching CSPAN that our leadership is doing nothing to fix it but talk. Thank goodness this is America and we can fix the problem ourselves in November every two years.
YES WE CAN
YES WE CAN
YES WE CAN
But please Mr. President, don't stop talking. The more you talk, the more material we comedians have to work with. The Honeymoon is over. The gloves are off. Now for some real fun!!!

http://www.lmao-nyc.com/

PS If you give us a tax break I will consider sending you $15/month. Otherwise, I am going to buy a burger - YEP, $15 should cover it these days.

PS - CHRIS MATTHEWS FORGOT HE WAS BLACK

Improv 4 Kids returns Sat Feb 6th at 3pm

Improv 4 Kids returns to Weekend Matinees Saturday 3pm and Sunday 4pm on Feb 6th & 7th, 2010 at THE MIDTOWN THEATRE (163 West 46th Street @ 7th Ave in Times Square) Tickets are just $20 for this off-Broadway Children's theater program. There are no minimums but food & beverage are available for purchase.

Non-Profit Groups (Schools, Camps, Scouts etc) of 20 or more can get tickets as low as $10 per person with additional discounts for chaperones.

BIRTHDAY PARTIES - Bring 10 or More Children for a Birthday party, we will extend free tickets to the parents. Also get the Lunch & Show Package $30 includes hot lunch, Soda Service, Tax & Tip.

More at www.improv4kids.com

Get Tickets now at THEATERMANIA.COM

Also fun for the whole family EIGHT IS NEVER ENOUGH Off Broadway as LMAO the MUSICAL. www.eightimprov.biz

Want less poor people? Stop feeding them!

Before you attack me remember I am a comedian. But this is basically what the Lt Governor of South Carolina said....

“My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that. And so what you’ve got to do is you’ve got to curtail that type of behavior. They don’t know any better.” - Andre Bauer

Mr Bauer is looking to fill the Governor Seat left vacant by Mark Sanford following his international sex scandal. Unfortunately there was now sex tape made that we know of.

I know there are a lot of folks that abuse the system. Growing up in DC there were definitely crack head mothers with 14 kids to collect the welfare checks to feed habits. There are crazy people and addicts that are burdens to the system.

However, there are serious problems right now. There are out of work and homeless folks that did everything right. And it was government and corporate failure that put these people where they are. These people need help. The deserve it as it was the government that allowed the problem to happen. Allowing the life timers to continue to draw on a emergency system depletes the supplies.

All that being said, my wife and I lived in a room for 3 years. We still have a roommate. We sacrificed for the past ten years to develop what we have today. We chose a career that has unstable income potential. We do not have kids. We do not have much of anything. But we have each other and we work our asses off to get by doing a show we love. In the process I think we do good for the community by creating jobs for young actors and performing outreach bringing professional theater to many that never could afford it. But through all the hardships, we never collected unemployment or welfare. I am sure we have been eligible for a lot. Except for some subsidized health care, we have 100% paid our own way.

In short, I agree with what the idiot from South Carolina was trying to say. There is too much abuse of welfare. There is too much laziness in America. Welfare should be there for emergencies, not as a way of life. But as long as Morons like Andre Bauer are delivering the message, we will continue to fail as a country.

What can you and I do?

Stop expecting our grandparents idea of working for 25-40 years and then retiring.
Stop complaining about not getting work.
If you can't afford it don't buy it.
If you want it, save for it.
And most importantly stop expecting government to save you. Stop expecting a boss to save you. Get out and create opportunities for yourself. Work your ass off. Give back what and when you can.

I know I am happier for it! Tough love is better than false smiles and empty promises!!!

KUJO attacks Haiti

Remember when the Tsunami hit South East Asia. The on-going theme was, the water was horrible, but the hunger and disease are far worse and will kill more than the initial waves.

In a serious case of "Just when you think it could not get any worse", already plagued by food, water and medicine shortages driving death tolls higher than the showwaves and building collapses, Haitians have a new dilema. Rabies is running rampant. Former pets and wild animals both are systemic and threatening to drive medical emergencies through the roof. What's next.