Lost without Lost: The Never Ending Story

OK

The long awaited LOST finale has come and gone. Many of you have not watched it so I will hold off on a few things of details about the show. But here is the story behind the story.

We had a great show last night at LMAO. Actually a little raunchier than usual. (Rated R Warning). I was playing piano for the ANIMAL CRUELTY BLUE and kept yelling out interjections to try and lift the dark tone. On one chorus I yelled "Club that Seal". On another I yelled Yummy Road Kill" and then finally "Slap that Pu$$y" (So if I offend) YADADA...I know a little edgy.

So get home around 10:30 after stopping for Mexican (Amsterdam 110th and 111th) and circling for parking. Laurice goes to turn on LOST from the DVR. She sees that the show is on when she turns on the TV and immediate shouts it down.

"I don't want to spoil the ending"
"Seriously? Go outside while I cue it up"

She refuses, continues to turn it on and off until there is an obvious commercial.

"Lets watch the series recap first"

OK... We start to watch the 6 season recap with cast interviews. Kind of cool, but long winded. About one half hour later, one of us has to take care of business, so we pause the DVR. I notice we have about 80 minutes left and whine "This thing is 2 hours long!?!" And that was just the preview event. It is already 11pmish. And we have stuff to do the next morning.

So we go to put on the show. Now about 11:22. She stops the 7p-9pm preview and switches to the show. But when she hits stop, the real show is still on, apparently running till 11:30, so she shuts it down again.

"I don't want to spoil the ending"

Let me pause briefly to say that I have had to endure this before - 9 years of X-files.

"Go outside while I cue it up"

She refuses. "Lets just wait till 11:30"

"FINE!"

OK Now it is 11:30, we both use the bathroom. We finally start the show. Pretty good stuff. We are cruising along until the Mexican food starts to creep back into the conversation. Laurice scoffs at a rather horrible stench (SILENT BUT DEADLY at its worst!!!)

"GET OUT!!! Light a candle. I'm try to watch the show."

She tends to over exaggerate, but not this time. It was bad. Even I repulsed myself. So I lit some candles. Opened the door YADADA

Another 15 minutes goes by.

"AGAIN!!!!???!!!"

Candles still lit, I lit and blew out a tea candle a couple times to speed up the recovering of breathable air space.

Long story medium length, this continued all night. Even with fast forwarding commercials at 3x speed, we were still watching way around 2am this morning.

I have to say, the thing I like most about the final episode, the today's discussions about what it all meant. What was real, what was in folks alternate sense of reality. And what's next. I can really see this being another Star Wars or Star Trek with spin off books.

I want to do an spoofy "HURLEY & BEN RULE THE ISLAND" Animated Adventures with Hurley driving the van all over the island and Ben running Dharma with no subject. Bad 70's cartoon laugh off at the end of every short.

Or perhaps a Thelma & Louis like spin off with Kate and Claire driving around the country, on the lamb, raising Aaron. And everytime they are in trouble, Frank " THE PILOT" Lepidus, stumbles out of a bar "HEY, You need a lift"

The prequel series Charles & Elois, The Early Years with a cross over episode on Mad Men.

I have to say I cried everytime a couple found each other and realized the "TRUTH". I need to watch it again. Like SIXTH SENSE, I feel there were clues I missed now knowing the final outcome. http://screenrant.com/lost-finale-explanation-kofi-61464/

Thanks for the ride ABC.

NOW....

Without any good TV for the next 4 months, I can focus on performing. We have a full summer of LMAO scheduled. And a butt load of gigs.

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ALTERNAT ENDINGS


Some fun follow videos
ABC NEWS http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqSS8v7bpbk


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FUBAR, MURPHY's LAW, What a day!!! No regrets!!!

This day was doomed from the start....

Woke up late. Laurice and I were supposed to be leaving by 10:30am. Woke around 10:20a. Left the house around 11am. Forgot Wallet. Went back for wallet. Picked up Spero and other cast (Evan & Steve M) at 11:30. I told them 10:45am. Met them at Dunkin at 1st Ave & 116th. Spero's hood. Hope they like donuts.

Not really sure all the details about this gig. I know it is Jewish in nature. Probably Bar Mitzvah. Maybe Bat Mitzvah. Maybe a briss. OUCH. Not 100% of the exact start time.

What should be a 10 minute drive takes 40 because we were arguing about meeting so early and then being so late i missed the BQE ramp from the Grand Central Parkway. Saw some landing airplanes and realized the error.

We arrive at EAST MANOR in Elmhurst Queens at noon. Leaving cast in car I run in the building - a massive 500 seat + chinese buffet and banquet hall. Looking around, i see no sign of private party so i ask hostess (I use term liberally)

"Hi I am performing at the Bar Mitzvah. Where should I unload the sound equipment?"

"How Many in your Party?"
"I am here for Private Party"
"How Many in your Party?" - Let me put it this way - I am thinking I am in Seinfeld episode right away...
"Not sure, i am the entertainment"
"How Many in your Party?" (Getting more annoyed)
"Not sure, i am the comedy act"
"What is the Party Name" I tell name... "Name not in book you in the wrong place"
So on and so on.
"I am here for the 1:30 event. I am performing"
"Oh 1:30 you are too early. Sit over there and wait"

OK I am done. So I go back to the car. Relay this comedic episode to the cast. I realize there is a seperate entrance for a couple party rooms upstairs. I check them out. Around back, i find the DJ just arriving. At most of these events, the DJ runs the big show so I let him do the talking. We go back to the reception desk.

"How many party"
"I am the DJ for the BAT Mitzvah" (Ah HA it is a BAT MITZVAH - this guy knows more than I do!!!)
"How many in Party" (I am ready for Abbott & Costello routine)
"I am looking for the 1:30 party" (I am just cracking up inside right now)
"Oh too early, have seat over there"
"I am the DJ looking for the party. I need to set up>"
"Name not in book"
"Can I speak with manager"
"NAME NOT IN BOOK" (Now there is a male host that is getting very testy.

This goes on and on. But I figure if the DJ is here, we are good to go. I have confirmed a 1:30 start time. So I bring the cast in for lunch. The buffet is huge. At $11.95 it is a great deal with Dim Sum, Lobster, Peking Duck and Sushi in addition to 100s of traditional buffet items. The quality is much better than you would expect. A few items were a little too traditional/cultural even for my pallet.

Around 1pm I leave the cast to go check out the performance space, now figured out by the DJ. The room is actually a sectioned off corner of a much bigger room - separated by only oriental screens. There is a small performance/dance space in front of DJ table. OK This is not so bad. I tell the DJ, "I am not going to bring my sound system in. It is such a small space. As long as I can use your mic for a couple MC things etc." So I run out to the car to get the keyboard.

I FORGOT THE KEYBOARD. I brought our road piano into Sweet Caroline's Wednesday prior and left it there. OH CRAP!!! So I ran to the Radio Shack down the road and picked up a crappy Casio number. Ran back just in time to start a show around 2pm. Now I can only assume the bathrooms were museum like, because all of the preteens were hanging out back there. We had to round the up for the show.

So the DJ turns off the music, but there is still incredibly loud pop music pumping from somewhere. I start to "WARM-UP" the crowd. Fun group. However, just on the other side of the wall - er um - screens - there was a preteen karaoke party with 7-8 year olds rocking out to Mylie Cyrus. And they were loud. If we had out sound system, we would have been as loud but then they would have gotten louder and then we would have gotten louder... so on... so forth... This is the first time I felt a head ache. But always the trooper, I am just going to plow forward.

We start the show with Madrigals, which no one can hear until Laurice picks up the microphone. This was especially hilarious when Laurice gave up and just started singing PARTY IN THE USA.

Next up Audience Sound Effects. So I get up the Bat Mitzvah girl and her uncle the therapist. I don't think they here me too well plus in my own anxiety I also skipped a few key points. "Are you guys ready? GREAT. OK. Of to the therapists office" So I turn to take a beat before starting the scene. As I take a breath to allow a character to take over my body - still trying to use something of good performance technique I have learned over the years - The uncle starts interviewing his niece.

"So you are in need of therapy." etc etc etc For a second, I am debating - should I let this go on. Worst case scenario it eats up some time, right? But then he says....

"Are you on drugs? What is your favorite drug? Cocaine?"

OK STOP THE PRESSES and as I go to intervene he turns to me

"So what do you like on your cocaine?" Tongue tied as I continue to internally struggle - do I run with this or put it to an end?

"Er - Um - Vanilla Icing? OK I guess I did not explain myself. We do the scene and you make crazy sound effects....." At which time we kind of proceed. The uncle kept creeping back into the actual scene. At one point I blurted out "This guy must be a sponge. You have absorbed all of your clients' crazy."

Up next we move to Miracle Ear. Steve McClarty did a great mime routine translating Laurice and Spero and together they saved the show and brought something of an audience back to life. Evan and I do a scene in a zoo where we screamed for five minute columns. One of the columns looked like chunk from Goonies. I probably should not have said "You and I should do duel Truffle Shuffles". Freeze frame was a blast. I fell face first onto the floor. It was quite chilly. After a few more songs and scenes - all rather tough to hear - we wrapped it up. At which time the kids ran back to the bathroom. Perhaps there was Cocaine in there.

Well back to the city, we had an amazing LMAO performance. The past two nights we had 30+ high school students from Canada via a wonderful tour company, EXPLORICA. They were the base for two amazing crowds. I think Laurice is preparing a number of videos from these performances for YouTube. TBA

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The most important people in your lives

I know I am not the first person to ever say this, but the most important people in theater are behind the scenes. I know I can always find someone to replace me on stage. We can have arguments over how well a certain show is with certain performers but there is never a shortage of attention getters in the form of singers actors dancers comics etc.

But the true heroes of the theater are those that are just as passionate or even more so with out the applause. They work harder for longer hours for little to no recognition. From designers to the builders to the electricians to the folks with you every night behind the scenes running sets, props, lights and sound. The most valuable player of any team is the stage manager. I have rarely scene a show fail with a good one at the helm. A good stage manager can motivate and lead the worst rag tag bunch into success.

SO I want to say thanks to all that have helped at the show shows I perform in. And even bigger thanks to those where I teach. We did a show tonight at the Queens HS. This is teh first year this school has even had a program. We put up about 35 minutes of Improv alternating four Broadway numbers directed by another teacher. The whole night I was blown away by the work the crew did with very little actual instruction from us. But I also saw the value and need to develop that department next. Mostly at the end of the night when it was time for clean up. In the past I had experienced crew that just knew they are the last to leave. No worries - baby steps!!!

But over all this was a great day.... We had call backs with amazing talent - leaving us with a very difficult process to decide what to do next. We are not as cut & dry as regular show casting. If you were at auditions, we loved you all and really need to nit-pick about schedule etc at this point.

The Queens HS cast (actual grades 6-12) blew me away. This was the first show I did not MC. While green, I turned the helm over to very capable hands. Making the decision to do so was scary for me and them on Wednesday. Even at 6pm tonight I debated stepping in. But I am very glad I did not. It is educational theater and they learned so much but having to step up to the plate and far surpassing expectations, as the group has done time and time again the past 10 months.

A word to the seniors. This is just the beginning. In 8 week you will be done with High School - well most of you will anyway. Remember the skills you learned no matter what you do. Good speakers will always land on their feet.

To the underclasses and middle schoolers.... THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING. I do not exactly what is coming but you and the program will continue to grow. Many o f you should seriously investigate youth acting auditions for TV and commercials. More fun than any scholarship application for college funding. But you all have grown and as new leaders emerge for next year, it will be your job to help teach the new students. Stay out of trouble. Don't be bullied into doing wrong. You are way to talented for that. I believe in you. I hope you share in that. Find the strength in the calm times so you can rock it more and more when it is time to do so on stage.

For all of you, don't let tonight be the end. Get together and practice/rehearse improv games. Write some jokes. Write a play. Write poetry. Write a song. Rap. Paint. Draw. Sculpt. (Adam i expect to see a full comic book fro you next year LMAO) All of you are truly ARTISTS now. So remember your ABCs....

ALWAYS BE CREATING

So Walter How is the diet going?!@?

In a word or two - IT'S NOT!!!

Just to catch up those that are new here and to apologize to the two or three that actually read these regularly (THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT BTW!!!) I always go bad during HELL WEEK. Worse when I am serving in director/producer capacity. I am so busy this week, I came home to find 38 messages on my machine, and I have actually been trying to keep up this week.

Tomorrow night is the performance showcase for my High School residency program in Queens. I know they will do well. More nervous about transitions as we have interspersed Improv with staged Broadway numbers with very little true tech rehearsal. Always afraid to step on toes I probably should have been a little more assertive and trained the tech folks better. But they are not my students. Plus it is a new program. I have been spoiled in the past by inheriting great programs with real TECHIES and DIVAS a plenty and able to focus on the art etc. We have taken a school with very little in the way of anything - program, theater / music background, sounds, lights etc - and developed the beginnings of a stellar situation. Thanks to the tremendous resource of raw talent and the inspiring drive of a few great teachers, dean, principal and the Comedy Hall of Fame.

The best part, this is a 7-year program - 6th - 12th grade. Can you imagine these 6-8th grades in 3-5 years. They will be running the show. I think - I HOPE - all the other parties involved see the potential. And not just the students. They have a decent theater space, but year of neglect left them with mostly a shell. 90% of the front lights don't work - depending on 2 OK spots for front light. They had almost nothing in the way of sound. They bought a great headset wireless system. I figure if they buy 1-2/year, they will be ready for IN THE HEIGHTS when the rights come available.

But it was most exciting to see the kids finally work together like a theater group. Before the dress rehearsal, students stretched out on the stage making posters to advertise tickets sales. Small groups practiced their steps. A couple asking advise o how to survive strained and tired voices with so many solos to sing. This was probably the first day I felt like a theater director and not just a teacher in that building. A role I feel will pass on many more important life lessons.

I actually had THE TALK with two students. OK not THE TALK parents have to give. But the TALK someone needs to have with many of these students. Many have read my twitter/FB rants about drugs and other personal abuses by our artist colleagues. Anger surges at every death or stupid outbreak by those flirting with disaster (Britney, Lindsey etc). Coming from the neighborhood we are working, I lay it out this way.... The stars and the F@#$-ups are almost the same people. Withe rare exception, the stars with long careers handle their need for attention, drugs, booze etc. The Eff-ups are very talend folks that in one way or another let their insecurities get in their way and self destruction sets in. Some as simply as having a bad attitude. Many it comes form drugs and/or alcohol. Either way, true stars may be rare, but talent is a dime a dozen. No one is irreplaceable.

I learned that most while on tour with Scarlet Pimpernel. We were in Canada. Our bus driver had fallen asleep (we think thanks to alcohol) and almost ran us into Lake Superior on the way to the border. If you ever see our show and I reference "I ALMOST DIED IN MINNESOTA" this is what comes next. We have a meeting backstage after the show in Thunder Bay. We are to head back to the States the next morning. The company manager said a new bus driver would be waiting for us in Indiana 24-48 hours later. Until then, we are till get back on the bus. A few of us tried to mount a protest. We had three options. 1) Get on the bus. 2) Pay our own way to the next location. 3) Pay our own way home and be replaced.

Boy am I babbling....

Back to my original thought....LMAO THE DIET.... I am not doing well today or this week. Lot of fast food. Tonight I prepared FRESH DIRECT dirty blondies. Basically ready to bake layer of brownie and chocolate chip cookie dough in a pan giving you 8 2x2 squares. I had half the pan already. I then prepare a huge BONE IN RIB STEAK - almost 2 inches thick the steak weighed 18-20 oz with the bone. I did trim the fat and ate the meat over 2 sittings i will call early dinner and the sequel 5 hours later.

I need to back on track. I have yet to buy a scale. I really should go back to weight watchers or try OA - don't get me started - and get back to the gym.

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LMAO THE DIET - Apr 30-May 2

Week 3 Wrap-Up

OUCH!!!

I had some drama - no comment for now - but I could not sleep for a few nights. So of course I binged. That being said, I have been much worse. I am getting organized, creating new online calendar helping clients and cast can see the future SGF better.

More house hunting. Debating how Ghetto we want to go to get the deals. Loud and Ethnic is OK. Gang ridden block too scary. We are used to loud music and young people acting stupid at 3am in the Heights. But parts of Jersey City are out right dangerous. Other parts are wonderful.

OMG - Thank God we did not have show in Times Square Saturday. I think I really get worked up about these things. More than I realize on the surface. We did a Bar Mitzvah and then headed farther upstate to the Chumas homestead. Came home to the news reports and I just tensed up.

I will try to get back on track with the journaling this week.

LMAO returns Saturday. www.lmao-nyc.com